AP Wordology: Dissection

I feel as though we should slip into one of those heavy, latex aprons we wore in biology class.  Ick…I can still smell the formaldehyde.  Last week, we tossed out some opening lines.  This week, we’ll start to dissect them to see what work and what does not.

As it was with the unfortunate frogs in class, there was no better way to start than simply diving in…

“No one could have foretold how it was going to end.  Not even the murderer.” -  Murder for Christmas by Francis Duncan.

I was in Barnes and Noble randomly eyeballing books when I stumbled upon this one.  I LOVED it.  I wasn’t planning on purchasing any that particular day, but once I read that opening line the book never returned to the shelf.  As I recall, I actually raced about the store looking for Cliff so I could read it to him.  I half suspect I looked like a contestant on The Price is Right who was just summoned to contestant’s row.

What makes it work?  While not providing a great deal of specific details, it plays upon your curiosity.  Had it simply read “No one could have foretold how it was going to end.” and stopped there, it wouldn’t work.  It would simply sound like a line the late Don LaFontaine would fire off during a trailer for the latest summer blockbuster.  It’s the little jewel tacked on to the end where the magic happens – “Not even the murderer.”  Ooo…suddenly it’s kicked up a notch.  Clearly this isn’t a cut and dry murder.  SOMETHING goes awry.  You have to read on to find out what that something is.

“Our troubles began in the summer of 1914, the year I turned thirty-five.” – Girl Waits With Gun by Amy Stewart.

What makes it work?  You instantly get a year action takes place and age for narrator right out of the gate.  You know it involves others from the “Our” and continuous action from “troubles” – plural.  We also know that it was summertime.  Amy is able to convey a great deal of information in a single sentence.  As you continue on, the seeds planted in the opening line blossom.  An excellent way to kick off an adventure!

“It was five o’clock on a winter’s morning in Syria.” – Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie.

Why it doesn’t work for me?  First of all, let me say that I know this is Agatha Christie.  She’s only been outsold by The Bible and William Shakespeare so she clearly she knows how to write.  I want to enjoy her work.  I feel as though I should enjoy her work.  Yet, sadly, I’m put off by the pacing.  I recall being at book club one evening and hearing an audible gasp from those around the table at the mention of not enjoying Christie. 

Hear me out.  From the line, I see it is 5:00.  It’s winter.  And we’re in Syria.  I’m not feeling any pull or intrigue to continue.  I realize the vagueness of the line could lead to any number of possibilities, but this one truly left me lacking.  It’s a slow open to me – which leads to my larger challenge in reading her work – the pace.  Perhaps back when readers didn’t have a million television channels and the internet to choose from, a lovely – and slow burning – read was just what the doctor ordered.  Like the opening line, I often find her stories taking the long way around.  I’d be curious for your thoughts and feedback on this one.

“There was going to be a funeral.” – The Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz.

What makes it work?  It’s an ambiguous first line.  Is there going to be a funeral in the sense of someone has already died and a funeral has been planned.  Or something more…sinister.  Perhaps no one has died yet, but a funeral is certainly on deck for someone.  This certainly doesn’t pack the detail that some of the others we’ve reviewed has, but with a line that can have multiple meanings, it gives it a far greater depth than may appear.

“It was nearing midnight when one of the new lampposts on Auburn Avenue achieved the unfortunate fate of being the first to be hit by a car.” – Dark Town by Thomas Mullen.

What makes it work?  Well, a car accident is always a way to capture interest.  Think of the times you’ve been held up in traffic because of folks rubber necking as they slowly pass by a scene.  

Beyond that, we know it’s midnight.  It’s fairly safe to say this wasn’t someone returning home from buying eggs and milk at the grocery store at that hour.  We’re not on a nameless street somewhere – we’re on Auburn Avenue.  It may not conjure up a strong image, but using the proper name of the street helps to anchor it.  Along the same lines of “he was eating ice cream” vs. “he was eating pistachio ice cream” – that one extra word helps you see it a bit more clearly and make a more personal connection.

We are halfway through the list, readers!  Let's take some time to digest what we've covered so far and we'll reconvene next Monday as we bring this topic to a close.

Tell Me Lines, Tell Me Sweet Little Lines

First impressions matter.  It may be a date, a job interview, or that moment a police officer walks up to your car after pulling you over.

It certainly translates over to the opening line of any story.  Back in the day, it was primarily a device to hook the reader into continuing on through the book.  Now, that opening line still holds that same requirement, but it also competes with the internet, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Netflix, and a myriad of other distractions ready tear a reader away from the pages.  Your opening is more important than ever before.

Admittedly, even while I wrote this update I mentally wandered away for a few minutes to watch a movie trailer.  

I’m cautiously optimistic about “Game Night.”

This week, we’re going to split the topic into two parts – and it has homework!  I haphazardly removed several books from my bookshelf in the den and have listed their opening lines down below.  There may be a slight breach of protocol by not citing the work or the author, but we’re looking for blind first impressions.  Next week, I will certainly list the source material as we dive deeper into each example.

They are not in any order, they are not from the same genre, and they are not all best sellers.  Read each one as if you had simply picked up a copy of the book at a bookstore and were deciding on whether or not you’d find it intriguing enough to purchase – based entirely on the opening line.

Dim the lights, here we go…

“No one could have foretold how it was going to end.  Not even the murderer.”

“During the night, frost had come and used the windowpanes to sketch its fantasies.”

“Our troubles began in the summer of 1914, the year I turned thirty-five.”

“It was five o’clock on a winter’s morning in Syria.”

“There was going to be a funeral.”

“It was nearing midnight when one of the new lampposts on Auburn Avenue achieved the unfortunate fate of being the first to be hit by a car.”

“When the Spook arrived, the light was already beginning to fail.”

“Lady Farley-Stoud set her cup and saucer down with a clatter.  The occasional table beside the armchair in our drawing room wobbled precariously under the impact.”

The following three examples aren’t the very first line.  I included them on the list as they contain two sentences that make up a short opening paragraph…

“The tired old carriage, pulled by two tired old horses, rumbled onto the wharf, its creaky wheels bumpety-bumping on the uneven planks, waking Peter from his restless slumber.  The carriage interior, hot and stuffy, smelled of five smallish boys and one largish man, none of whom was keen on bathing.”

“Toni Diamond heard the ping signaling a text message.  As though the signal had an echo, her daughter Tiffany received a text at the same time.”

“Elisabeth Strenger peeled three boiled eggs under running water, dropped them into a chipped Blue Willow china bowl, and began to mash them with a fork.  She took a quick puff on her cigarette, blew smoke out through the back window, and tapped ashes into the drain.”

If you’ve read them, read them again.  Not one after another after another – it will start to sound like a record skipping through a song.  Let each one sit with you for a few moments.

When we convene next week, we’ll talk more about those incredibly important first impressions, what tone and images they evoke, and most importantly why - or why you wouldn’t - keep reading.

A Lot of Noise About Being Quiet

There was a bit of brouhaha at a local library this past week.  Large enough to make the news and larger still to spark a debate on a review of the official library policies.

A gentlemen had become rather upset with those around him.  They were making more noise than he felt was permitted and let them know as much.  One group apologized, but the other asked where it stated they couldn’t talk.  The gentlemen pointed to a sign that read “No Mobile Phones Allowed” but as they weren’t on their phones, they said it didn’t apply and he was incorrect.  Things were getting rather heated when he left the area and decided to check with the main desk.

As it turns out, there was no longer an expectation of silence – at least, not here.  The librarian went on to explain that at an academic library (college, university) that the expectation still existed.  Where a public library no longer held that same standard.

In my book The Stockings Were Hung, even I reference what I thought to be the universal policy of near silence… 

“We were trying to be as quiet as possible.  There was no one around, but a charnel house is one of those places you whisper.  Like a library.  Or behind someone’s back.”

A charnel house is a place they store bodies or bones.  In colder climates, this is where a body would be housed during the winter.  After the spring thaw, it would be removed for burial.

Have the rules changed?

The argument at the library sparked a slew of comments on social media.  Some would go to their graves believing there should be no talking, where others felt that libraries have morphed over the years and conversation was more acceptable.  Once upon a time, if you needed to do extensive research, you had to trek to the library.  For me, that was normally for high school or college papers of some sort.  I certainly appreciated the silence during those times as it made it easier to get the work done.  But…back in those days, the library was the about the only place you could go to get that information.  Now, I can research material for a book while sipping wine on the back deck.

I remember walking up the steps of the Phillips Free Library in Homer, New York when I was child.  The building was large and cold looking, the wooden front doors incredibly heavy, and when you stepped inside you would face Ms. Baldwin.  For the record, I can say I have no idea if she was a nice woman or not – the only place I ever saw her was the library and since you weren’t allowed to speak I couldn’t exactly ask her how her weekend had been.  Her hair was always pulled back tight, she wore a wool blazer and matching wool dress that went down to her ankles, and – quite honestly - she frightened the hell out of me.

Phillips Free Library in Homer, New York.

Back to the library, itself.  It was a place you simply didn’t speak.  It was almost a sacred tomb filled with books and assorted research materials.  Dimly lit with the same sort of atmosphere as a funeral home.  Today, when I visit the library across the street from Hearst Tower, there are computer rooms, labs, teaching centers, social networking areas.  Heck…the book club I belong to meets there each month and there are always lively (and sometimes loud) conversations on the current selection.

The main library in Uptown Charlotte.

The vibe has completely changed.  No longer dark and brooding, they are lively and inviting.  They almost seem to spark conversation.

What do you think…?  Has the no (or low) talking rule outdated?  Does it only apply to particular libraries?

Speaking of potentially outdated things…

In the midst of typing this update today, a vehicle slowly drive past the front of the house.  He tossed what I thought was a bag of trash out the window and into the front yard.  I made my way outside.  I then spotted him throwing items into everyone’s yard.  Turns out, it wasn’t trash - but phone books.  So in a way, I was correct.  The book made its way from the front yard and straight into the recycling bin.

Free to Read You and Me

Everyone will tell you that you should be well read in your genre.  There’s no better way to learn what works - and what doesn’t - by those who have ventured first.  I make it a point to read everything from best sellers to the books lurking in the bargain bin (I’ve found some gems there!)  Sometimes, I feel the lack of success a book may experience may be more related to poor marketing than poor writing.

Just as important?  Reading outside of your genre.  Let’s face it - sticking with what you know and what you like is…comfortable.  But great writing isn’t confined to your favorite genre and there is much to be learned - and incorporate into your own work - within the pages outside your normal reading list.

Towards the latter half of 2017, I discovered a perk with Amazon Prime that I didn’t even realize I had called Amazon First Reads.  It entitles you to one FREE Kindle book at the start of each month.  Don’t have the Kindle proper?  Not to worry – if you have the Kindle app on your smartphone, it can be delivered there.

At first, I wasn’t terribly impressed.  As I mentioned in the past, I tend to gravitate towards hardcover books so eBooks were not on my radar.  Besides – I have so many titles on my reading list at the moment, I’m not entirely certain I’ll even get through them before I die.  Side note:  one of the books on that list is “Girl Waits With Gun” by Amy Stewart.  It was released in 2015, but after reading the first few pages, I was hooked.

The dust jacket hooked me, as well!  It has a vintage newspaper look and feel to it.

In October, I gave First Reads a second look.  They offer up several different genres from mystery to thriller.  Contemporary to literary fiction.  My first instinct was to grab a mystery book, but then I had a thought - what an extraordinary opportunity to get some research material outside of my genre.  I know myself enough to know I wouldn’t go out of my way to purchase a book in the literary fiction genre, but a freebie?  Count me in!

It has been an enlightening experience.   As I said above and in a previous post on poetry, there is plenty to learn – and incorporate into your own writing – to be found outside your standard go to genre.  Amazon First Reads gives you FREE opportunity to do it.

The best part?  No excess books hanging about the house!  Since these are for research, they can hang out on my phone taking up relatively minimal space.  This allows you to reserve space on your shelves for the books you truly treasure.

If you’re an Amazon Prime member, be certain to check it out!

Tarot Into the New Year

I’m writing from the living room this evening, while under the cover and comfort of an electric throw.  The temperature in Charlotte didn’t break thirty degrees today and the forecast low overnight is fifteen. 

I realize there are places far colder than what we’re experiencing here.  However, in the six and a half years I have been here, this is the longest stretch of cold weather I have seen.  As a writer of Christmas mysteries, I'm enjoying every minute!

I did manage to get out for a quick run today.  It was only two and a half miles, but I needed a holiday detox and the run fit the bill.  Speaking of detox, at work tomorrow, the kitchen will be overflowing with junk food of every sort imaginable.  The arrival of the new year brings resolutions of healthy eating.  People will be unloading boxes of chocolates, bags of candy, containers of cookies…in short, any sort of high caloric temptation that isn’t nailed down at home will land in the kitchen.  It will look like offerings to the God of Junk Food.  The only thing missing will be druids waving curved knifes and bits of mistletoe as they prepare the sacrificial virgin.

The freezer will be an impenetrable wall of Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice boxes.  Here’s a shot from last year…

Meanwhile, here at the house, we’re in that awkward in-between stage.  Christmas is over, the decorations are coming down, and boxes & storage containers form an obstacle course worthy of American Ninja Warrior.

I’m looking forward to the next couple of weeks.  As the last vestiges of 2017 are packed away and schedules return to normal.  For now, I’ll be snuggled under the throw doing some quiet reflection on the year that has passed and the one we have entered.  From my vantage point on the sofa, I can see one of the Christmas trees we had in the dining room.  In place of ornaments, tarot cards hang from the branches.

I invited a bit of history in “The Stockings Were Hung.”  The characters would gather round the tree and select seven cards.  The meaning of the cards were meant to foretell the events of the upcoming year for them.  I wrote that it was a tradition dating back to the 1700’s.  In reality, nothing like that was ever done, but I thought the creepy images of the cards against the wholesome backdrop of a Christmas tree was marvelous contrast.  I used the Sherlock Holmes deck of tarot cards on my tree, because...well...mysteries.

Still…could there really be something to it?  Perhaps I’ll select seven cards for myself this evening…