Embracing the Negativity

As a writer, you spend a great deal of time alone.  It may be hours of staring at a blank page in an almost insane attempt to will words onto the page or moments of exhilarating breakthrough where your fingers aren’t able to keep up with your mind.  In either case, most often you are alone.

Admittedly, I'm not alone tonight.  Lucy is keeping me company.

The words you write and the stories you tell can become incredibly intimate.  So much so that when an opportunity to share presents itself you find yourself on the verge of a mild panic attack.  As if locked outside your home in nothing but your unmentionables for all the world to see.

In my writing class, we’re able to read our work aloud for others to hear.  If you aren’t comfortable with that, you can simply say “I’ll pass…” and the instructor will move on to the next pupil.  In the first half of the semester, you simply shared.  These last few weeks, it has been to share and receive feedback.  I was curious to see if the number of people who read aloud decreased when having immediate feedback was introduced.  I was delightfully surprised when it did not.

Feedback is essential to growing as a writer – even when it’s negative.  I’m not talking about negative in the internet troll sense.  “This book sucks!” is not feedback, it’s simply rude.  Offering up an opinion with a qualifying reason is - “This didn’t work for me because the main character felt flat.”

The dreaded internet troll!

The first time I had some of my work come back from an editor, it was earmarked “Take some time to look through my notes, absorb them, and we’ll talk.”  I laughed when I read that as I imagined how often she must get offended responses from clients.  As nervous as I was about her insight, I was more excited to have an objective look at what I had done.  

Getting negative feedback is important.  Being open to negative feedback even more so.

I took tennis lessons growing up.  When I made a bad shot, the coach called me out.  I could storm off the court, throw my racquet, shout obscenities…to what end?  I still made a bad shot.  If he hadn’t pointed it out, I wouldn’t have become a better player.

I still play tennis today.  In all our matchups, Cliff has only beaten me one time.

As a writer, you spend a great deal of time alone.  It’s critical to get outside of your own head to hear how others interpret your work - good or bad.

Negative is not bad.  Embrace it.  Understand it.  Learn from it.

What are your thoughts on receiving feedback?  Let me know in the comment section below.