It's Hard to Network in the Corner

The annual Writer’s Digest Conference kicks off on Thursday in New York City.  I’m reaching for my fidget cube as I type that.

I love my fidget cube!

As a writer, you spend a great deal of time alone.  Alone inside your own head, alone with your keyboard or notebook, sometimes alone even in a room full of people.  By nature, many of us are introverts.  As if rushing about getting everything ready for the conference isn’t stressful enough, the mere thought of attending the conference can be physically exhausting.  For someone who finds social situations challenging, they can be quite a drain.

What it feels like as I get ready.

I have no issue walking into a large conference room, sitting down, and listening to the presenters.  I’m excited to see Donald Maass, Jane K. Cleland, and Paula Munier.  They are some of the best in the business.  It’s the surrounding elements I’m not fond of.  The small talk with other attendees before each session begins.  Having to share my own thoughts or ideas with the group.  And cue the high school flashbacks as I spend my lunch hour alone while it feels like everyone else instantly bonded and became fast friends.

I loved high school *so* much, I didn't return for twenty-five years.  And made certain it was closed when I went.

Old Homer High

It’s certainly not the people themselves that make it unenjoyable - it’s me.  I’m not good at small talk.  A co-worker actually offered to make me index cards with questions and appropriate responses.  On any given day, if someone asks me how I’m doing, I would say “good” and move on.  Apparently, that should be followed up with “How are you doing?”  Normally, I wouldn’t ask.  They asked me a question, I answered.  Exchange complete.

It reminded me of Romana and K9 in an episode of Doctor Who.  She asks a question, K9 asks for clarification, she gives him an instruction, and he takes it…literally.  I imagine I’m mentally wired in the same way.

You can watch the clip here.

Why am I am prattling on about all of this?  Maybe you’re headed to this conference, or a conference, or to a birthday party where you’ll know exactly no people.  Know that you aren’t alone in your anxiety and do all you can to push through it.  

I can count on one hand the other attendees I spoke with at the conference last year.  Of those, I keep in contact with one.  She is an awesome one to keep in contact with, by the way.  BUT…a huge part of these conferences is to network and meet other writers.  Sadly, that is something I missed out on last year because I let my anxiety get the best of me.  Don't let the same happen to you!  Remember - you've paid for the conference, so get your moneys worth!  The sessions and pitching are important, but don't neglect the networking.  It has the potential to open unlimited doors for you.

My goal this year to meet as many people as possible and to step out of the shadows.  I’ll do a running recap of each conference day here to let you know how it’s going.  If you are reading this and see me there, be certain to say hello!  I’d love to add you to my tally and my contacts.

I’m feeling intrepid at the moment.  Hopefully it will last upon my arrival and I won’t myself lurking in the corner like Mike in the Blair Witch Project.

Hopefully this will NOT be me again this year.

How do you overcome your social anxiety?  Will you be attending the Writer’s Digest Conference this year?  Let me know in the comments section below.